There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I lost the right to judge tonight
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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