I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You made out with two different species that night
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
