where am i from again
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
someone owes me an orgasm
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
