I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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