I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize