...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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