Porn is love you can see.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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