come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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