I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
