My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is Oprah even human
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize