I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
