he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my being single is dangerous.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
