I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize