So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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