You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
