definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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