You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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