god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
