I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
