you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
