Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
