Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
