Sry I called you an 8
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
