More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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