Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
