so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize