Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
