Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
