what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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