I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
