I hate all girls vehemently.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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