Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
