his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
