yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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