I think i peed on brittanys purse
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
accomplished twins. life is a go
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
