yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
