Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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