I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
