It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
