I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
