i jhust puked up my retainher.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish you could order shots online.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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