she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
