I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
