Porn is love you can see.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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