he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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