Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i think i have two assholes
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
