her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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