Im at strip club and am horny
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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