Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
