Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
