I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize