there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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