forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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