College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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