Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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