i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I just sharted jello shots
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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