I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
