last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
