After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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