Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
