My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize