She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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