Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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