I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
