My liver just broke up with me...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
