Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
