she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
