I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
