Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
only if we run a train.
done.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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